Since our house has been invaded by and taken over by everything cars since he first watched the Disney movie CARS at 18 months old, it only seemed appropriate that his first movie be the sequel. I'll spare the movie review, despite how hard it is for me to to do that (~cough cough~ too long! ~cough cough~ too many over the top explosions and a crappy story line! ~cough cough~ it's the Bourne Ultimatum for children, do not let them watch this in the morning or before bed, it will make them bounce off walls!).
I'd never taken a toddler to the movies, and I won't lie. Taylor and I were scared. Jude did pretty well considering he has the attention span of a rough and tumble labrador puppy.
He did fantastic starting with the pre trailer commercials (he was very impressed with the gigantic TV screen we'd been telling him about all week), the trailers, and then the first 20 minutes or so of CARS 2- but as his attention span began to fade there were of course unanticipated hoops to jump through during this kind of adventure, as I'm learning there always are when you have a toddler. Like, for example, your toddler suddenly telling you he needs to poop in the middle of the movie. I'm honestly surprised I even heard him say it with as loud as the sound was blaring and all of the explosions. But I've developed a pretty good mom "poop" radar and I instinctively listen for that word, or else be faced with the scenario of cleaning a tiny pair of crap filled Lightening McQueen whitey tighties out in public (no thank you). I thought it was tricky and awkward slipping out of a movie theater aisle to go to the bathroom when I was alone, but it was tricky on a whole new level while squeezing past people carrying a gangly-legged two year old who is a virtual Number Two time bomb waiting to go off ("Omigod Omigod, please don't poop PLEASE don't poop on these people!"). Once that crisis was averted after a successful drop off in the ladies room, we get back, and ten minutes later he has to go pee. Round 2.
He watches more movie with his hands over his ears for a lot of it (like I said, Bourne Ultimatum action here) before he resorts to crawling all over the seats next to us, turning into dead weight while Taylor and I try to peel him up off the nasty disgusting floor he just suddenly has to sit on, and a few squealing in protest episodes that would've caused for major shushing if it weren't so loud in there that no one really noticed. Across the theater I noticed throughout the movie other parents getting up to take their little ones out of the theater to shush them or take them poop or what have you and I suddenly felt this huge wave of relief- which tends to happen to me when I get out around other parents and realize that I have all of these allies around me.... something I forget sometimes until I get to witness some other person's kid acting all crazy out in public. When this happens, I find myself thrilled to see a stranger's child going berserk and freaking out, because then I'm reassured that my own child is normal for going berserk and freaking out. I never thought I'd live to see the day that I would find any kind of pleasure out of seeing a kid have a brat attack out in public, but what do you know? Here I am silently hoping to find the same amused/horrified/irritated/knowing/patient look in another parent's eyes as they shuffle their whining, temper-tantrum having hot mess of a toddler out of a public space to take care of.
