1.) GRATITUDE
People have been posting things they are thankful for every day in November and it's nice to see how many actual grateful people there are out there in this great big world that seems to be so consumed with hating the government and complaining about politicians. I'm sorry, but no matter what I have to bitch about when it comes to politics, at the end of the day, I'm still grateful to be an American and I'm grateful to be alive. I'm grateful for the freedom I have to complain, when in all reality, I don't have a whole lot to complain about.
It's taken a very, very long time for me to realize that and learn to keep my fucking mouth shut sometimes. I am guilty of doing something that grates on my nerves when other people do it- and that's running my mouth like an overprivileged, spoiled American brat. Doing this detours me from what's really important in life, and that's keeping focused on the simple, basic necessities that allow us to relish in what I believe to be life's Holy Grail: Happiness. And not just obtaining it, but keeping it and nourishing it and allowing it to thrive.
I have a roof over my head. I never go hungry. I have people in my life that I love and who love me back. I have my health. What more do I need? If we have those basic, simple, priceless things in our lives, I don't think we have a whole lot to bitch about, so long as we remind ourselves just how lucky we are to be alive. I think it's important to acknowledge what irks us, but to not be consumed by negativity and try not to lose sight of just how fortunate we are to be here and live these lives we live here- because so many people have it bad in ways that we'll never have to deal with.
GRATITUDE, 24/7/365/not just in November: it's easier to say that we have it then to act like it, what with all of life's inevitable annoyances and headaches and challenges. I lose sight of it all the time- but I really try to take a moment and stew on the fact that no matter what, everything will be OK because I am grateful for this life of mine and feel so fortunate to have it, while it lasts, because over the years I'm starting to "get" how fast this goes by and it's kind of overwhelming when I think about it too much... so I try to slow down and close my eyes and just BE HAPPY for the moment.
And I'm happy for these people: Without them I am nothing!
2.) IMPENDING CHRISTMAS
Taylor and I aren't going to do Christmas lists with our kids. Instead, we've just started asking Jude what kinds of things he likes and what kinds of things he might want Santa to bring him, if he's a good boy. This way it's kind of up in the air and not mapped out- so there aren't any huge expectations. We hope that this makes for lots of surprises on Christmas mornings, since nothing was spelled out on paper.
A baby wolf and arts and crafts (his ideas). A space puzzle and a Snoopy Snowcone machine (our ideas). The former are suggestions made by us because we already bought them- and putting the ideas in his head has made him excited for things he didn't even know he might like. I know this strategy probably won't last forever as he and Viv get older, but why not try to tame the "Wanty Beast" now while we can?
Jude's the kind of kid who gets overwhelmed by choices, and when confronted with too much, gets frustrated and spastic and can't make a decision, ultimately getting upset rather than excited. He flipped through a Toys R Us catalog at my mom's a few weeks ago and a nearly had a panic attack frantically wanting everything in it.
He doesn't know television with commercials- at least, children's television with toy commercials or fun cereals and snacks. We don't let him watch that stuff. He watches Sesame Street, a couple of Disney shows On Demand or an occasional movie, but no regular programming. So he isn't familiar with the toys out there right now unless we present one to him.
On grown up channels like NBC or CNN or the music stations, we mute commercials. Less noise pollution. One time I came home and a caregiver/sitter had left the TV on Sponge Bob (NO!!!!.) and commercials had come on, and Jude and the baby both turned into drooling zombies, suddenly "needing" in a disturbingly urgent way whatever it was advertisers were trying to brainwash them into wanting. I saw an actual physical and mental change in my children and it was weird.
That never happened again, needless to say.
I can see where Christmas lists were a novelty, back in the day when kids got a couple of toys from Santa. Jimmy got a toy truck. Jenny got a doll. The end. Now though, there is just SO MUCH SHIT out there that it is overwhelming for me as a parent, and frankly, I don't want to deal with the severe degree that it could easily go.
No lists. We know what you like so you'll have to just trust us- um, I mean trust Santa. You can give us ideas and specifics, but no lists. Too much like grocery lists, whereas grocery lists are for things you need and Christmas lists are about stuff you want.
My children are fortunate. They have a lot. More than my brother and I ever did at their age. It's kind of embarrassing and overindulgent, for me at least, when I go through their shit and have to figure out what to do with what they've grown out of, both clothing and toy wise. I fear their risk of becoming spoiled. I fear them becoming unappreciative because of the abundance of what they have. Of course I do the best I can as their mother to prevent those things from ever happening, but on the other end of the spectrum, I do my best as their mother to provide for them nice things and feed their interests and allow them to have as much fun as possible while they're still this young before life starts slowly demanding more of their time and attention in the direction of the less fun things they will become responsible for.
I can be bad about overdoing it and showering my kids with what can sometimes be too much, but my intentions are always good. Then I back step and try to regulate and establish/reestablish boundaries for both the kids and myself.
It's a slippery slope. We live in a consuming society and a world full of THINGS and Christmas has potential to get out of hand.
Tay and I talked about this before we ever even had kids. Somehow, and I know I'm not alone here, Christmas began to turn into this super stressful ordeal where we started to get stressed out about what to BUY for people and how MUCH MONEY to spend on people and HOW MANY PRESENTS to allot for people.
Christmas can revolve too much about STUFF AND MONEY. Gross.
Christmas can revolve too much about STUFF AND MONEY. Gross.
Over the years I've started making stuff as gifts or giving things you can eat. I've for the most part stopped Christmas shopping for the adults in my life, because the adults in my life are like me: they have more stuff than they know what to do with. I've also found that I enjoy the holidays more myself if I take the time to make things with my own two hands or put together something sentimental with photos. It's a stress reliever for me.
I don't know if everyone likes sentimental stuff or handmade stuff- it's never anything fancy- but I grew up with a dad who was ALWAYS making things for us as gifts- and I always loved them. He still does it to this day. Writing songs. Making cards. Drawing pictures. Coming up with odd random stuff. So I in turn grew up to follow in suite.
I don't know if everyone likes sentimental stuff or handmade stuff- it's never anything fancy- but I grew up with a dad who was ALWAYS making things for us as gifts- and I always loved them. He still does it to this day. Writing songs. Making cards. Drawing pictures. Coming up with odd random stuff. So I in turn grew up to follow in suite.
Jude has caught onto this and now he loves to make crafts too. He told me that he didn't want toys for Christmas- he just wants crafts. He told me right before I took this picture that he is my "little artist." It almost made me cry. He sits for hours making crafts and cutting and gluing and creating. It holds his attention in a way that toys never have been able to do- well, except for toy cars- which he's outgrown interest in completely. My little tornado has found his focus.
I know Taylor really wants Jude to be an athlete, and he'll probably play some sports, but I feel in my heart that our son is more of the sensitive artist type. Maybe he'll be a rock star. Maybe he'll be a designer. Either way, he'll be creating something. It's in his blood.
Wow this was a long blog. To close it up, I'd like for anyone reading this to take the time to be grateful for one simple joy today. Like the fun of getting a new, super sweet hat to wear. Jude picked out his new hat yesterday after school and spent 20 minutes jumping off of the ledge at the mall, shouting about happy he was. Can't we all be so happy about little things like that?
Or just look at this sweet little face and be happy for the innocence of toddlers, because they are so incredibly new and untarnished by the world and all of its B.S., and at one point in time, we were toddlers too and had a completely clean slate, and somewhere inside all of us that little person still exists and can be happy with a bottle of bubbles and a sunny fall day.
