The only one with a good attitude all weekend was the baby. She even had the tummy bug and had to go to the ER and she still outdid us all with her smiles and positive attitude- puke and all. I'm so grateful that she is such a happy, low maintenance and pleasant child- because Jude, his dad and I can sure use attitude adjustments a lot of the time. She was my saving grace- my little ray of sunshine. I hate to admit it, but there were moments when I wanted nothing more than to ditch my two sour puss boys, scoop up Mochi and high tail it out of there.
It's nice to have a female ally in the house.
But as it goes, sometimes you have one of those weekends. Sometimes kids are moody and impossible to please, and sometimes as a parent you lose your grasp on your adulthood and let your child get the best of you, thus allowing yourself to regress down to their maturity level. It sucks to remember at the end of the day that their behavior is excusable because they are so little and are still learning to cope with their emotions, whereas you should know better.
The good thing is, a child can undo all of the annoyance he's caused you- no matter how much it was- in just one moment of being sweet. They can bring you back to connect with your spouse just as quickly as they can temporarily divide you from the sheer frustration they can cause.
It's their special super power. This is why no matter how hard it gets, the sweet moments make it all worth every second.
Having talked with several random people who choose not to have kids over the past week, this is something that I think a lot of them don't and can't understand. Well, maybe they kind of understand, but the concept of the sweet moments still don't outweigh the reality of the tough stuff. I get the feeling sometimes that a lot of them (not all, mind you!) are almost repulsed at the idea of having children- like they are life ruining freedom robbers; ball and chain pain in the ass hassles. That's the impression I get. Often.
I can't really blame them though- it's impossible to see things otherwise until/unless you personally experience becoming a parent. I can see how children in general might be perceived to be some of those things- because I've been one of those childless people before and I've felt that way in the past- so I get it. With me, it was more fear than repulsion.
Fear of what a future with children held. Fear of the effect pregnancy would have on my body. Fear of the freedom I would lose when I became a mother. Fear of the intense, extreme change that children bring.
Fear of the fact that deep down I knew I wanted children but resisted the urge to be defiant and rebellious towards women I knew who seemed to have had their brains eaten by their babies.
My fears were justified. All of those things were and have been scary. My past reluctance and hesitation and fears are justified regularly- and I must check myself and my attitude all the time. The stress that my kids cause me sometimes is exactly what I've always been afraid of experiencing.
Thankfully, however, I am reminded every day that the fear and scariness is what makes this an exciting and thrilling ride- because for all the unfun stuff, there is the crazy super fun stuff, and for all of the uncertain scary moments, there are the overwhelmingly incredible moments that take your breath away and make you so feel so grateful and happy that you feel as light as air.
What feels better than falling in love? And what better gift can you get in life than the ability to fall in love all over again, each and every single day with a child? No better gift, I say.
When my sick baby glues herself to me for comfort and falls asleep with her hand clutching my finger, or my little boy leans over and pats the pillow on the other side of his double bed and whispers at bedtime, "I wub you (love you). Mommy way (lay) wight (right) here in big boy bed wif Jude," I am reminded of why taking that huge leap of faith into motherhood was the best thing I ever did.
He wants to wear his Ghostbusters shirt every day. Little does he know that his mom made his Mimi and Aunt Sach take her to see the Ghostbusters sequel about 10 times in the theater back in the 80s, so this particular clothing quirk of his is super special.
Moments before he took a huge bite of the chocolate covered banana and a huge chunk of the chocolate shell fell on the ground, causing the end of the world as he knew it. That was fun.
My poor sweet sick Baby Mochi. She didn't make a peep all day Friday- not a whimper, not a cry, not a fuss, despite all her throwing up. Even at the ER she was smiling (if not weakly) at nurses and charming the doctor. We could all take a lesson from little Moch on soldiering through sickness with a smile.
Niles loves the baby, which is interesting because Niles doesn't like anyone. Besides me (and Taylor sometimes, although he will never admit it). He especially isn't that crazy about Jude. Never has been. He steers clear of him like the plague. But he now comes around and camps out with Baby Mochi and lets her grab at him and "pet" her. It's so very true that cats choose people- not the other way around.
Right before the trip to the ER, she was frighteningly lethargic. Jude never got sick as an infant, so this was foreign territory for me. Sick infants are a scary, scary thing.
Taylor the child wrangler- Baby Mochi sweet talking daddy while Jude "fixes" himself with his "I'm OK" ice pack patch after falling off the ladder of his fort. I got him a special boo boo ice patch at Whole Foods and it's amazing how much faster kids recover when they have their own special something to make themselves feel better.
Jude found a dessert cookbook that my mom gave me for Christmas- also known as dessert porn. He poured over it all evening on the kitchen floor, pointing out and describing each dessert on every page and "Oooing and Ahhing" over every one. Even though we are limiting our household on our sweets intake, I made a trip to Braums to get break and bake cookies for everyone. Taylor has spent the past week slaving away at doing our taxes and he especially deserved all the cookies he could eat.
